A Is For Alice
by RosalindJones
Summary: Sequel to 'Regaining Her Muchness'. After being poisoned, kidnapped and brainwashed, Alice faces an even bigger test of becoming a mother. She feels like collapsing, but has to put on a brave face as she returns to England and the family she left behind.
1. Chapter 1

New story, new plot, tell me what you think of it so far xxx

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This was the happiest day of my life. I could barely contain myself and keep to the steady rhythm as I trailed down the isle that had been created by hundreds of citizens either side. All eyes were on me as I floated in ecstasy towards my soon husband-to-be. I ran the last meter or so impatiently and the audience laughed.

When I looked up at Tarrant through my veil, he was smiling.

"Eager?"

I replied by beaming up at him.

We turned to Mirana who had insisted on marrying us and she smiled at us.

"Today, these two people will be united in matrimony and will become seen as not two, but one through the eyes of every living creature of Underland…"

Mirana continued with many heart filled words and acted as a sort of best man or chief bridesmaid, like we had in the world I came from. We spoke our vows and I ended up crying as Tarrant reminisced on every special moment we had had together, including those that were not that pleasant.

After only about 15 minutes of standing at the alter, my veil was lifted and I saw Tarrant clearly for the first time. His skin was the least white I had ever seen it, but his eyes were the most green I had ever seen them. In fact, if he went to the above land, he could probably pass as normal. Everything about him had been toned down - apart from his eyes – and he looked like the handsomest man I had ever seen.

Then, Mirana began on the final lines that would seal our fate forever.

"Do you, Tarrant Hightopp accept this woman, Alice Kingsley, to be your wife, to help, hold and love for the remainder of your life?"

"My life and beyond. I do." He said.

"And do you, Alice Kingsley, accept this man, Tarrant Hightopp, to be your Husband, to help, hold and love for the remained of your life?"

"I do." I whispered.

"Then under the witness of these guests and by the power of the White Queen, I pronounce you Husband and Wife. Tarrant, you may kiss your bride."

We looked at each other and both leant in until our lips crashed together in an explosion.

I opened my eyes as I inhaled sharply. It was dark and I was lying down. _Great_, I thought, _just a dream_. It _would_ have to be at the most anticipated moment as well, wouldn't it? I closed my eyes again and tried to relax, but the nagging feeling in my bladder wouldn't go away, so I decided I should visit the bathroom.

I wrapped a gown around my blown-up belly and waddled out of the door of my room at the castle. Because the baby was due to be born any day now, Tarrant had insisted I stayed at Marmoreal where there were doctors and medical wards. He was having a last minute panic about becoming a father and I had to repeatedly tell him that everything was going to be ok.

He was slightly irked that we would not be able to wed before the child was born, but traditions were different here and a child born out of wedlock was nothing to be ashamed of. I had secretly enjoyed that fact, being able to do the opposite of what was thought 'proper' still gave me an odd satisfaction.

I visited the bathroom and was back in my room within minutes. I decided I couldn't sleep, so I decided to look through some old paper on my desk.

There were so many different things hidden, screwed up and forgotten about. I found the plans for the construction of Tarrant's old village.

"Completed and successful." I spoke aloud. "See, your mother is _not_ a typical female, and if you're a girl, you better not be like that either." I stroked my stomach as I spoke to my baby. "I hope you're a girl. I've been so sure you are from the beginning."

I thought it odd that in less than a week's time, I would be a mother. I hoped I wouldn't turn out like my mother did. I made an agreement with myself to listen to my daughter and never discourage her. _I'll let her be whoever she wants to be_.

Thoughts about my mother only increased as I found several old letters than I had never sent. I had told myself I would, but as my life was so perfect before I was poisoned, I saw no reason to do something that might upset that balance. But now in hindsight, I could see, that was a very selfish thing to do. I had told my mother nothing of where I was going or even if I would return, but she was about to become a grandmother and I thought she was entitled to know that much.

I took out a clean piece of paper and an ink pen. After starting at the blank piece of paper for several minutes, I put pen to paper and tried to express all the emotions I had felt for my mother over the last few years into a single letter.

_Dear mother,_

_I am so sorry for not writing once these last few years, but the life that I have made for myself has been so perfect, I couldn't fathom leaving and if I wrote often, I feared I might long to return to England._

_No, I am not residing in England, but a place much further away, yet closer than you think. It is a wonderful place, mother and I dearly wish you could see it, but I believe it is something you would brand as 'improper'._

_I have made a name for myself also, I helped the land out at a time of dire need and so, they rewarded me with a title. Here, I am known as Lady Alice Kingsley. My fiancé is a Lord, yet we do not live in a vast castle or mansion, but a small house in a village amongst other people you might see as commoners. _

_I could write about my life all day, but I need to get to the point that is on my mind right now. _

_Within days, you will become a grandmother. I'm not sure whether than needs and 'again' on the end or not because Margret could have had several children by now and I wouldn't even know. I know what you are thinking – a child out of wedlock is a disgrace to our family name, but I am not going to hide who I am just for someone else whose opinion I don't care for. You can lie about my marriage having already happened, but if you love me as a mother should love her daughter, you shouldn't feel disgraced._

_We have not yet chosen a name, but I will inform you when your grandchild is born._

_Again, I can not express how sorry I am for not writing to you since I left. I want you to know, even though I went through some tough times, I always loved you. If you hate me after reading this letter, I still want you to know you will always be my mother and I will never stop loving you. I just hope the love you have for me will be enough to overlook my wrongs._

_Sincerely, your daughter,_

_Alice Kingsley. _

I folded the letter and slid it into an envelope, then sealed it with my mark. I kissed the letter softly and walked over to my window. I opened it and placed the letter on my window ledge.

"Please reach my mother safely." I whispered into the chilly night air.

I walked back over to my bed and my body was suddenly heavied with sleep. The moment my head touched the pillow, I relaxed and felt more at ease now I'd gotten a weight off my chest.

The wind howled softly outside and I watched sleepily as my letter was picked up and carried away by the wind.

This is just a beginning. I don't know where this story is going to go, whether it's going to be a romance, action, family or whatever…

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Thanks for reading and waiting for me to write this if you've been waiting since my last story.

Xxx


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back again. Sorry for the long wait, I've been busy with A levels at the minute, but I'll try to get up at least one chapter a week. Any help or suggestions would be nice because I really don't have much spare time these days! :)

Xxx

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I hugged my mother and held onto her tightly. It had been so long since I had last seen her. To hold her was more than I could wish for at this moment. I would never leave her again. I knew I couldn't. Not now we had forgiven and forgot.

"I'll miss you mother. I'm so sorry I didn't contact you." I said for what must have been the hundredth time that day.

She stroked my face lightly.

"Don't worry about it. You're not a child anymore; it's up to you to make these decisions, not me forcing them upon you."

"But isn't there anything I could do to make it up to you?"

She deliberated for a moment.

"Well, I suppose, there is one thing."

"What is it? _Anything_. I'll do it mother."

"Just wake up."

"What?" I breather, confused.

"Wake up."

"I…I'm not dreaming."

"Alice. Wake up. Wake up."

Her face began to fade as did her voice.

"No!" I shouted. I reached out to grab onto her body, but my hands went straight through it.

"Alice. Wake up!"

The voice was deepening and becoming more urgent. I heard a baby's cry come out of nowhere and the voice became clear again.

"Wake up, come on Alice!"

I heard the call from reality as I lingered on the edge of sleep.

I felt pressure on my arms and I was rocked from side to side. The pressure disappeared, but I was left in an uneasy balance on the thin line. The pressure appeared again and pushed me off the edge and into reality.

"Hmmm." I groaned.

"Alice, come on, we have to move you."

"What is it?" I mumbled.

"Your waters have just broken. You're going to have the baby." A gentler voice said.

Every ounce of my tiredness vanished in that instant and I felt my heart begin to race.

"What, now! Are you sure?" I panicked.

I wasn't expecting the baby for another week, so I had only just started prepping myself and getting ready to become a mother. But I guess motherhood was full of surprises and this was only the first of many to come.

"Ok." I said, calmly. "How am I-?"

I felt a pain hit me like something had just crushed my body. I screamed and wrapped my arms around my body. Within seconds, the pain was gone and I was left gasping slightly.

I looked up and saw a small group gathered around my bed. Mirana, Chessur, Dorian, Emmeline the nurse and of course, a very panicked looking Tarrant.

"Are you alright?" He asked, all jittery.

"I'm fine." I said honestly. "Just a contraction that's all. I probably wont get one for another hour or so. I don't even think I need to go to-"

I gasped and clenched my teeth together as another wave of pain hit.

"Oh, my!" I heard Emmeline say. "They are already too close together. The birth will be soon. _Very_ soon."

Through the pain, I was still able to smile. I would be able to hold my little girl possibly within minutes.

"Oh my word! Too soon. Much too soon! I cant… I'm not ready for…" Tarrant stuttered.

My body relaxed and I released my breath.

"Calm down, Tarrant, this is good. I wont be in pain for as long. My mother, when she was having me-"

Another wave of agony hit my abdomen.

"Alright, that's it, everybody out, I must examine her. Out! Out!" Emmeline shooed the confused, anxious and scared group out of the door and locked it.

"Right, my dear, I just want you to relax. I need to check if you're ready yet." She smiled warmly and I found it hard not to trust that loving smile.

I had regularly visited Emmeline with cuts and bruises and occasionally a small break. She had fixed me up and told me to be more careful next time, but I would head no warning and would return the next day with multiple injuries. She would just laugh it off and take the pain away.

She was like my adopted mother here in Wonderland. She knew me inside out and I always felt the tranquillity of her presence.

"Alright, you're ready to have her. Just keep breathing and wait until I tell you to push. Do you want anyone back in?"

I barely had time to think because another pain, this one the most painful yet, tightened my insides and had me screaming out in agony.

I skimmed through the faces of those waiting outside. _Tarrant should be here,_ I thought, _but he's already in a state, seeing me in pain wont do him any good. He'd just end up blaming himself._

Dorian wasn't a suitable substitute for Tarrant, seeming as we had only become close mere weeks ago.

Mirana however was my best friend and I was sure she could calm me down with her serenity.

"Mirana." I struggled to say during the pain that was now a constant in my body. "Get her in here now!" I almost shouted.

She hurried over to the door and opened it. Mirana came in the next second and rushed over to me.

"You're doing great Alice, just focus on the good things you'll get from this. Just a little pain to get a beautiful baby."

"A little pain? I'm in bloody agony!"

I felt tears stream down my face. My mood changed from anger to misery before I even realised it.

"I cant do this! Make the pain go away, I don't want it." I sobbed.

She took my hand and squeezed it.

"Alright, its time. When I say, I want you to push Alice."

"But it hurts so much!" I complained.

"You can! For you, for me, for Tarrant and for the baby."

The pain was still somehow building, but I listened to her words and a new strength filled my weak body. _I can do this. I _can_ do this_! I prepped myself.

"Ok and a nice big push. One, two, three!"

I pushed with everything I had, but nothing happened.

"In a few seconds, again. Ready…one, two, three."

I pushed again. And again and again. I held Miranas hand so tightly, I noticed through my blurred vision that the tips of her fingers were beginning to turn blue, but not once did she complain of my grip.

I was exhausted. The pain was too much and I only had so much enthusiasm left in me. After what felt like hours of pushing, screaming and tears, I decided to give up. I lay on the bed, panting and drenched in sweat, mumbling incoherent things. Mirana's hand slipped from mine and I felt her breath on the side of my face.

"I believe in you. And so does your mother. Make her proud." She breathed softly.

I opened my eyes and looked into her. They were still shining and a piece of the optimism seemed to transfer into my own body. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"One last time." Emmeline said happily. "I can see the head. And three, two, one."

I pushed and pushed and used up everything last piece of strength I had, and finally, I heard the delicate cry of my baby.

My world focused in one the tiny child in the nurse's arms. After her first cry, she had fallen silent, but I had not once lost hope because the smile on Emmeline's face was more than enough to tell my baby was ok.

"It's a girl." She said joyously. "Just like you said. I guess you had that mother's instinct right from the start."

I smiled and laughed weakly.

"Can I… can I hold her?"

"Oh course." She carefully cleaned her off with a bowl of water and wrapped her in a blanket before handing her to me.

I took the bundle and stared at the little red face.

"She's so beautiful." Mirana said.

I couldn't find the words to tell her how right she was, so I just nodded my head.

"Have you picked a name?" Emmeline said.

She was holding a pen and paper.

"I didn't know there were civil registrations here." I said.

"We don't see them as registrations, we see them as certificates. To congratulate the birth of a beautiful child." Mirana said gracefully. "So, her name?"

Tarrant and I hadn't really discussed names in the short period we had been back together. There had been too much to do, to plan, to organise for the arrival of our daughter and her being early didn't help anything.

I did however remember him once speaking of his mother. She was the most amazing mother one could wish for, he had told me. Ada. Her name had been Ada.

But then again, I wanted something original. In England, everyone was named after their parents or their grandparents. My baby was special – unique and she deserved a name to suit her. She would go onto do great things in her lifetime, so she needed a name that would be remembered.

"Amelia. Amelia Ada Lucia Hightopp."

This way she could have a piece of Tarrant's mother, a piece of my independence and a name of her own to cherish – Lucia.

"That's beautiful." Mirana said. "Just like she will be. Only you could possibly be good enough for her."

She smiled at me.

"Are there any reasons for the names?"

"Ada, after Tarrant's mother. Its my way of thanking her for giving me such a wonderful man. Amelia, because its unique, just like she is, and Lucia, because it means light. And she will always be my light from now on."

I looked down at my sleeping daughter.

"I love you Amelia Ada Lucia Hightopp. And you were worth every second of pain."

I kissed her forehead and marvelled at the overwhelming feeling of becoming a mother.

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OK, just needed to get the birth out of the way, now the real story can begin…

Xxx


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